Ready or Not....

Today was my son's first day of preschool.  He's three (going on thirteen) years old, and SO ready to be away from his mama at HIS school.  I on the other hand am wondering where the time has gone, and how my little tiny baby boy could possibly be old enough to be anywhere without me. 

Even as I write this I realize that I am being totally ridiculous.  This is three hours twice a week we are talking about here.  It shouldn't be this hard for me.  Especially considering the fact that there have been several days in the past few months when I have wondered if there is such a thing as boarding school for toddlers ;)  I think this has been hard for me because I am starting to see him need me less and I am having to get used to that.  It's crazy really...I have spent the last three years looking forward to having him be a little less dependant on me.  I know that my job as a parent is to teach him how to be self sufficient...but it's still hard to accept that he doesn't need mommy like he did before.

I am so proud of my little boy...even of the fact that he was more than ready for me to leave him in a new place.  I love the fact that he can jump right in and know that I'll be back to get him later.  I also really enjoyed some one on one time with my 20 month old daughter.  It isn't often that I get to sit quietly and play tea party with her :)  Plus I am loving the fact that both of my kiddos went down for a nap without a fight.  Preschool is a good thing.  Preschool is a good thing. Preschool is a good thing....

Didn't Get the Memo

Apparently my children didn't get the memo about our four year wedding anniversary yesterday.  I tried to explain it to our three year old son, but made the mistake of comparing an anniversary to a birthday...so all day long her was singing "Happy Birthday" to Daddy...and I am pretty sure he was expecting a cake and candles at some point. 

The day started out pleasantly enough.  It took us forever to get everyone dressed and ready to go (so nothing new), but we made it out of the house eventually.  First we went to Target to pick up diapers and light bulbs....because nothing says "romance" like diapers and light bulbs.  There was a little bit of crying before we made it out of the store, but not the super embarrassing tantrum kind.  Our next stop was the pet store (a.k.a. the mini-zoo).  The kiddos got to see all kinds of little creatures AND we replaced the dearly departed Mr. Fish (our Beta fish died recently) with two gold fish.  It took a while to convince out three year old that we should pick two new names instead of calling both of the new fish Mr. Fish.  I even suggested Mr. & Mrs. Fish, but apparently he is SURE that both fish are boys (and I got the distinct impression that he thought I was an idiot for not knowing that).  While we were in the pet store I called in a to-go order to a nearby restaurant.  We picked our food up on our way home, and had a nice lunch with the kids. 

Here's where it all went down hill...I had it in my head that my husband and I would get to spend some quiet time alone while our little angels took a nap.  Well, my little angels had other plans.  Our son decided he wanted to play the "back to bed game" for a few hours instead of actually staying in bed and sleeping.  Eventually his antics woke our daughter up.  The rest of the afternoon they were both pretty cranky....and so were my husband and I ;)

No biggie right?  There's always bed time....which didn't go very well either.  My 18 month old daughter (who normally sleeps through the night) kept waking up screaming :(  The only thing that seemed to comfort her was if I held her while standing up...not sitting, not leaning, and certainly not while laying down.  Did I mention she weighs about 25 pounds?  Long story short...I ended up spending the night of my anniversary sleeping on the floor in my children's bedroom...not exactly the night I had in mind.

I think the lesson here is that it's never a good idea to have a plan in your head that involves your children sleeping when they are supposed to ;)

I should add that my Mother will be babysitting this weekend so that my husband and I can go out to dinner.  Soooo the anniversary romance will happen eventually.

It's Just a Phase

Alright.  I was prepared for the Terrible Two's...well...I was as prepared as a first time parent can be ;)  I had no idea what it would be like, but I knew something was coming.  The point is that I was expecting two to be a difficult age.  I thought (mistakenly) that if we survived two things would get better.  As my son approached age three I day dreamed of things getting easier.  In my mind three would be the turning point...an end to tantrums and testing.  The start of something less....chaotic.
To be honest I can't even say that I wasn't warned.  When other people told me that three was harder.  For some reason I thought that would never happen in my house....kind of like I thought I'd never get stretch marks, or cut my hair short to make it easier to deal with.  I thought three was harder for some people, but not for everyone...I was SURE three wouldn't be harder for my sweet little boy.

You may have already guessed by now that age three has not been a walk in the park.   I don't even know how to describe it.  Testing has been taken to a new level.  A level that involves talking back and doing things he KNOWS will get him in trouble.  A three year old can say things like "No YOU'RE in time out", "be quiet mommy", and my personal favorite "I don't love you".  A tantrum thrown by an over tired two year old pales in comparison to having your child tell you he doesn't love you.  Yes he's three.  No he doesn't mean it...but does it hurt?  Does it make me want to cry...umm...you bet your buns it does!  My sweet, loving, predictable little man seems to be missing at present.  I don't know what to expect from the look-a-like that took his place. 

Deep breath in...hold it...now exhale....okay.  I will make it through this phase.  This is just a phase.  Just a phase.  Just temporary.  In the grand scheme of things this is nothing.  Before I know it we'll be on to the next phase..hopefully a phase that doesn't make me want to curl into the fetal position and cry.

Smile For the Camera

Yesterday I was having a bad day...not for any real reason...I was just in a funk.  When my husband got home from work he put in a DVD he made from some old footage off of our video camera.  Let me just say...it's really hard to stay in a bad mood when you are watching footage of your first born child taking his first steps, dancing, and chasing the dogs around while squealing.  I just had to smile, and all of the sudden my day didn't seem so bad. 

Now, I should add that I HATE having my picture taken.  I hate being on camera too.  It seems like my husband always brings the camera out when my hair is a mess, and I'm wearing something that could pass for PJ's.  He's always telling me how important it is to capture memories and blah-blah-blah.  Well...don't tell him I said this, but...he's right.  I'm glad he didn't listen to me.  I'm glad he caught those moments...messy hair and all. 

From now on I am going to try to be more camera friendly...and who knows...maybe once and a while my husband will feel like pulling the video camera out when I don't look like a hot mess ;)  OR maybe I'll be the one behind the camera every now and then.

Starting Over

Okay, let's face it.  I have been a total slacker when it comes to keeping up this blog.  In my defence I think I have a few good excuses...one just turned three last month, and the other is 18 months old ;)  What can I say?  The last year has been all kinds of crazy.  I didn't have much time for me, and blogging is definitely a "me time" activity.  In an effort to make more time for me I am going to be blogging again.  I'll also be posting recipes and other random things that I like to pretend that other people want to read ;)